How My ADHD Diagnosis at 32 Exposed My PCOS, Pre-Diabetes, and Everything Else

Trigger warning: virginity, abortion

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 32, and honestly? I thought that was it!

Finally, some certainty about something.

This is the answer to why I've always felt like I'm running at 120 miles per hour while everyone else is cruising at a normal speed. I said to myself.

For a minute there, it felt like everything clicked into place. The chaos, the intensity, the brain that never shuts up, the obsessions, the flakiness, the 3am frenetic bedroom-furniture-shifts. I had a name for it.

But the relief wore off fairly quickly. My body was still a mess. My hormones were all over the place. I thought okay, ADHD explains my brain. But what about the rest of this?

Turns out, ADHD was just the first domino in this multi year puzzle.

I'd known I had ADHD for years, but it wasn't diagnosed and it wasn't a conversation in my household. As an only child, my parents just let me rock out with all my quirks, ticks, hyperfixations, obsessions and all that, so I never questioned it.

But when I had a three hour exam coming up at age 32, I thought, let me see if I can get a time accommodation.

In order for that to happen, I needed a diagnosis.

Another part of me, much more quiet and subtle, just wanted to know for sure. Because I'd spent 32 years thinking that asking for help meant I was weak but maybe, it actually wasn’t? Thank you, Catholic upbringing.

Fortunately, I found a functional medicine doctor who actually gave a shit. She didn't just hand me a questionnaire and call it a day. She made me do five full sessions that included testing, physical exam, bloodwork, the whole thing.

And yeah, I scored off the charts for hyperactive with some seasonings of mild depression and anxiety.

But when she asked whether I wanted to go the medication or supplement route, this was the fork that ended up changing everything.

I chose supplements because I felt, I've gotten this far without meds and I do believe I have some great ways to adventure with ADHD that my life doesn't spin that far out of control that often.

Once I got those bloodwork results in order to see which minerals I may have been deficient in, I was SURPRISED!

She laid it out straight within the first 5 minutes of our final session. PCOS and pre-diabetes, at least.

Huh?

I'd been going to the OBGYN since I was 15. I'd had bloodwork done a few times, but I guess never these particular labs. No one had ever said anything about PCOS. Or pre-diabetes. So why was I just hearing about this now?

The doc suggested I get a transvaginal ultrasound now that we know about PCOS; so there came the fibroids.

All this, of course, like many other women in the west, discerned while trying to conceive.

Here’s a post with a bit more depth -

Here's the thing. Most ADHD research was done on little boys who couldn't sit still in class.

Girls and women? Historically, we’ve barely been studied. We internalize everything. We mask. We overachieve and burn out, smile through it then repeat!

So when doctors finally started looking at women with ADHD, they realized we come with a whole different repertoire of issues. And many of them are hormonal. Check content by Dr Jolene Brighten for more.

PCOS isn't random. It's inextricably tied to dopamine, just like ADHD. I learned that when androgens are elevated, insulin is resistant, and both of those mess with dopamine in the brain.

Which of course, worsens executive functioning. Motivation tanks. Mood swings get cosmic.

Then there's estrogen. Estrogen triggers mast cells, which release histamine.

And histamine doesn't just give us allergies my friends, no no. It disrupts sleep, digestion, brain activity and more.

When estrogen drops, like right before a period or during perimenopause, everything gets worse. Brain fog, anxiety, restlessness. I'm sure you’re feeling me.

And when you're stressed? Your body pumps out cortisol. Cortisol messes with hormones. Hormones mess around with insulin. Insulin then triggers inflammation. That inflammation triggers mast cells. Those mast cells dump histamine. And to wrap these dominos up, histamine worsens ADHD symptoms. And to re-tip the cycle, worsened ADHD amplifies stress, anxiety and depression.

What a time to be alive!

It's a loop. And most doctors aren't connecting these dots unless you do it yourself or have a quality functional doc.

Check this post for more info from Dr. Brighten.

Trigger warning: This section discusses virginity, hemorrhage, and abortion. Feel free to skip ahead if needed.

After the ADHD, PCOS and pre-diabetes diagnoses, I went into hyperfocus obsession research mode.

Yet, I was simultaneously being pulled to go back in the past a bit.

When I was 15, I consensually lost my virginity. That same night, I hemorrhaged during a very public volleyball game. In front of at least 100 people. I bled out six pints in an hour. I flatlined twice once at the hospital.

I had an entire out-of-body experience where I watched myself from above, heard from God in another experience a few minutes later and then woke up some time down the line.

I survived. But no one talked about it. No therapy, no processing. Just silence. Because that's what girls do, right? We hold it together. We don't make a fuss. Everyone at school knew by Monday and to survive being a teenager and some semblance of belonging, I chose humor. So for years, my best coping mechanisms have been stoicism and humor.

Years later, in a very honest moment with my mom, I found out I'd lost a twin in the womb. My mom carried that guilt and shame alone for two decades.

And when I learned that, so much suddenly made sense. The endless, ever present desire to have a sibling. The hypervigilance that someone was always around me. The guilt that sat in my chest for no reason. The depth of feeling that I was always doing too much, like maybe I was always actually, doing for two.

I realized, a lot of my STUFF — it wasn't just mine. It was generational.

Years later at 28, I had an abortion abroad, in a country where it was illegal. No anesthesia. No compassion. No heeding to my desires or decisions. Just cash, a handful of Advil, and the cover of night. My body continued producing pregnancy hormones afterward because no one told me that could happen and I didn't know what I didn't know. I didn't know I was drowning in estrogen, for years inevitably.

My belief, is that all of that turned into chronic inflammation. Combined with Self-blame. Shame. Guilt. Anger. Real, physical diagnoses were inevitable.

So when I got that little ADHD diagnosis at 32, it wasn't just about ADHD. It was about everything my body had been trying to tell me for years.

I went down the rabbit hole. Full hyperfocus mode for well over a year. Reading everything I could find about connections between neurodivergence and fertility. Insulin resistance. Inflammation. Histamine. Trauma. The nervous system.

And I noticed something. Every woman I talked to who had ADHD also had some other stress-related condition. High cortisol for sure. Endometriosis, adenomyosis, long term gut issues, eczema, hashimotos, cushing's syndrome, just to name a few.

I began to connect that what we call symptoms are usually adaptations.

• My humor? That started when I died at 15.

• My perfectionism? That was me subconsciously trying to prove that I, alone, was enough for my parents.

• My emotional detachment? Easier than burdening others with more of me.

With COVID, came buying a van and traveling across the country and essentially ending up in Denver. Where I followed a lot of inner pings - I learned breathwork, trauma work, nervous system, polyvagal theory, ancestral trauma connections, received support, received coaching credentials and of course, I found that functional doctor who actually listened. I pivoted careers. I heeded my voice.

And things started to change. By 36, I’ve reversed that pre-diabetes. The PCOS is mostly balanced out. My cycles went from a light 22 days to a full 28. I re-set my gut with an elimination diet, significantly lessened inflammation, rid a parasite as well as SIBO and I stopped feeling like my body was the enemy.

At 36, I am the healthiest internally that I may have ever been.

I remain unmedicated, lightly supplemented and have adjusted major aspects of my life to accommodate as healthy a body as I can muster.

Now, when I work with women, they usually come to me asking for straight up ADHD strategies. They want planners, routines, hacks. I get it; we live in a set of systems that barrage us with the idea that we need to be as improved as possible.

But I've found that what many actually could use most, is safety and permission.

Permission to be complicated.

Safety in not having to explain themselves.

Permission to feel things without guilt.

Safety felt in their own bodies.

My work now is supporting women in moving from tension to intention, however that may show up. Not managing their ADHD (or anything else really). Partnering with it (all of it). With their whole selves.

We're not just a list of diagnoses. We're entire ecosystems shaped by everything we've lived through. We get to choose who we are, not the labels used to easily categorize.

The label that is ADHD might explain how your brain works and it may be relieving when you find out, but it doesn't define who you are. And it definitely doesn't limit what's possible for you.

You're not broken. You just got disconnected from your own rhythm.

Adventuring starts when you listen. Slowly. Repeatedly.

And honestly, it helps to do it with other people who get it.

Take stock of the below if you’re interested and research further or speak with your healthcare professionals.

• ADHD in women often comes with hormonal comorbidities like PCOS, insulin resistance, and thyroid issues

• The connection is dopamine, both ADHD and PCOS involve dopamine dysregulation

• Estrogen, histamine, and cortisol create a vicious cycle that worsens ADHD symptoms

• Most medical research has been done on boys, leaving women under-diagnosed and under-supported

• Trauma and chronic stress can manifest as physical diagnoses years later

• Healing isn't about managing symptoms, it's about partnering with your whole self

• You need safety and permission more than you need another productivity hack

Related Resources:

• The Hidden Link Between ADHD, PCOS, Histamine, and Insulin Resistance

• Hormones & ADHD: The Chaotic Duo You Didn't Ask For

• Beyond the Diagnosis: My ADHD Story and the Healing That Followed