
All of my writing is free. I write because it allows me to better understand my own points of view, I thoroughly enjoy it and I believe that knowledge gets to be accessible, not locked behind a pay wall. Yet, creating deep, quality content takes time, energy, and a herculean effort from this adhd brain. In the spirit of reciprocity, if something here lands for you, consider buying me a coffee to support this work 🙏🏾
There's a moment most people with ADHD have experienced at least once.
You're standing in front of a mirror, or writing in a journal, or repeating some phrase you found on Instagram. You're doing the affirmation thing. And somewhere between the third and fourth repetition, a voice inside you says: This is garbage and you know it.
That voice isn't your inner critic being mean for sh*ts and giggs. That voice is your brain pointing out a data discrepancy. You're saying one thing. Your lived experience says another. And ADHD brains, for all their chaos, are remarkably good at spotting when something doesn't add up.
Affirmations were built on the idea that repetition creates internalization. Say it enough and you'll start to believe it. And for some brains, there's truth to that. But ADHD brains process repetition differently. We either habituate to it (it becomes invisible, like a clock ticking in a room you've been in for hours) or we actively resist it because the gap between the statement and our experience creates anxiety, not comfort.
This isn't a willpower issue. It's a wiring issue. The ADHD brain builds beliefs through experience, not declaration. Neural pathways strengthen through action-feedback loops. You do something, something happens, your brain catalogs that result. Over time, the catalog becomes the belief. Words without corresponding experience don't create that loop.
Instead of telling yourself a new story, test the old one. Design small, low-stakes experiments that challenge whatever narrative has been running in the background.
If the story is I can't be consistent, the experiment isn't to build a 90-day streak. It's to do one thing, one time, when you said you would. And then to notice that you did it. That's the evidence. That's what your brain can work with.
The experiments must be small enough that your executive functioning doesn't immediately go into shutdown mode. If the experiment feels ambitious, it's too big. Scale it down until it almost feels pointless. That's the sweet spot.
The old belief doesn't get deleted. Not fully. It might get quieter. It might stop being the first thing you reach for. But it will still be somewhere in the building, and on bad days, it might wander back into the main room.
That's not failure. That's how brains work. The goal was never to erase the old story. The goal is to build enough awareness that when it shows up, you recognize it for what it is: an old recording, not a current reality.
Think of it like a radio station that's been playing the same playlist for years. You didn't choose this station. It was just on when you walked in. Awareness is when you finally notice it's playing. Not when you destroy the radio. Just when you realize there are other stations available and you can change the channel.
If you want something concrete, here's the distilled version:
Notice what story is playing. Name it without judging it.
Question it lightly. Not with aggression, just with curiosity. Is this accurate? Was it ever fully accurate?
Run one micro-experiment. One small action that tests the narrative. Keep it almost laughably small.
Notice the result. Not how you felt about it. What actually happened.
Repeat without pressure. This isn't a system or a challenge. It's a practice.
Some weeks will be full of experiments. Some weeks the old station will be the only thing you can hear. Both count.
Your ADHD brain doesn't need louder affirmations. It needs quieter proof. Small, repeated, real-world evidence that the old story isn't the only story. That's not a hack. It's not a shortcut. It's how neural pathways actually change. And the version of you who is aware of the story is already different from the version who was trapped inside it.
That shift is worth more than a thousand sticky notes.
[ Want to start the free self coaching program? Here’s episode 1]
P.S. If you're wondering about me - I hold a PCC coaching credential, breathwork facilitation certification, trauma sensitive somatic training, adhd certification, ongoing supervision, and about a decade of my own therapeutic and somatic work.
I'm also neurodivergent as hell, which informs everything about how I work. None of that makes me the right coach for you, but it hopefully gives you a sense of how I come to this work.
I may receive a commission for links shared in a blog, podcast, or newsletter. You don’t have to use these links, yet I’d be grateful if you chose to! Thanks again for your support, I hope you find the content supportive, insightful, and helpful!
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